Last October, I attended a Zentangle art conference in Niagara-On-the-Lake in Canada and also spent some quality time with our cousins who lived so close to where the conference was being held. Bob and I (and I hope our cousins) had a blast! Then, on the morning we were saying our “goodbyes”, a headache came—something that is quite rare for me now. After traveling over the Niagara Falls bridge by to the U.S., we stopped in Buffalo, NY to pick-up some Tylenol. It didn’t seem to work too well, and by the time we got home, I was very weak.
COVID!? But both of us had been so careful!
I thought I had a cold, but took the at-home COVID test anyway. It was negative.Then, Bob started feeling awful and I still thought I had a bad cold. On Bob’s birthday, I was planning on joining my sister, niece and nephew’s wife to the Isabella Stuart Gardner Museum in Boston the next day. I told them I had a cold and would wear a mask. Reservations had been made. I was so looking forward to it.
Bob decided to take the at-home COVID test. He was positive. “Oh no!” I said. So I tested again after testing negative the week before. This test indicated I was positive, too. I was in denial. So I took the test a second time thinking it was a mistake. It confirmed that I had COVID, too. Both of us had been so careful. When Bob started feeling well, I was on my third week of deep coughing. By my third medical video consult, I was put on steroids. It was spot on in helping me improve and feel better.
So COVID was with me during Breast Cancer Awareness Month as I contemplated the time I was in disbelief when I had been diagnosed with b.c. for a third time. Like COVID, I had done everything I could to avoid getting it. Yet that wise quote by John Lennon rang clear. “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”
Honing In on Wisdom Gained
Although, we could change our museum reservations, we couldn’t change my getting COVID. We couldn’t change my having b.c all three times. But, what we could do was to find new ways to cope. Together, Bob and I honed in on that wisdom we had both gained both together and apart as we moved past the many adversities in our lives.
After my first b.c. and treatment, as the holidays approached, I contemplated all the consumerism and busyness in our society. I thought how Bob and I would get caught up in it–the shopping, the gifts, buying, writing, stamping and sending cards; attending parties; baking; and too much more. The exhaustion was just too much.
Deciding to Make a Change
We decided it was time for a change. After our first visit to Cambria, CA for a fun anniversary away, we decided we’d celebrate Christmas with our pups by driving up the coast of Central California for a vacation week.
It was a fantastic decision. This time gave us time to rest, be away from both of our busy weekday jobs and volunteer work. What we needed was some time to focus on just us and kick back. By changing our viewpoint on how we previously celebrated the holidays, we shared so many playful and meaningful moments that are now a quick memory or picture away.
We turned something exhausting into propping ourselves up with soft pillows, dining in fine food restaurants, traveling to places we’d never been, and snuggling with our pups. We saw Christmas lights and decor that others put up. Tasted wines, and walked along the ocean. We made many discoveries and met friendly people with interesting stories that we otherwise would not have if we had not changed what was no longer serving us well.
That first experience in Cambria, catapulted us into spending our Christmases in Carmel, Pebble Beach, Point Lobos, Monterey, Pacific Grove, San Francisco, Santa Cruz, Half Moon Bay, Pigeon Point, Salinas Valley, Paso Robles, San Simeon, Cambria, Harmony, Atascadero, Cayucos, and San Luis Obispo. Wow!
Christmas Cards vs. Other Ways to Communicate
Each year, we saved and looked forward to our next end-of-year adventures staying at one or two places each time. Through the years, all of our Christmas memories added up. We created our joy out of heartache. Broke away from the glazed-over holiday eyes. We observed others who seemed like robots in store aisles, and in a trance at the check out stands and on the road. After moving to be close to our East Coast Family, we have focused on them and decided not to send out Christmas cards in this computerized day and age where more are choosing to do the same. The action of not taking action in sending cards took more of the edge off as we kicked back enjoying our fireplace, a glass of wine, our flannel sheets, a cup of hot cocoa, laughter, and more. We think if anyone is thinking about us, that we now have so many ways to stay in touch during the year. Text, phone calls, emails, FaceBook, Instagram and more have opened up so many options in communication.
How to Simply “BE”
I was able to bake gingerbread cookies and other goodies for the first time giving them to our neighbors. (Bob nabbed the ones that weren’t packed in boxes.) I also decided that each year I will only bring out decorations by theme so we can downsize and minimize having too many ornaments around us and focus on a more simpler decor. This past year, we had a Santa Claus theme. Next year, it will be angels. We are no longer decorating our Christmas tree with its pre-strung white lights. We decided it looks beautiful as it is. And our shiny Christmas ball ornaments reflects their light in a few transparent glass containers.
Our holidays bring so much more stress-free enjoyment. We avoid crowds. Make or order most gifts on-line. Most of the time now, we do what we want to do, when we want to do it. Most importantly, we are now creating meaningful memories spending our time as we age with our family as they get used to having us around after spending too many years apart.
A New Special Child
There is now a new special child in our life–Reese. My nephew Erik, and his wife Alex, brought their first beautiful and rambunctious daughter into our world 1-1/2 years ago. We’re also happy knowing that Alex is expecting another girl this spring. As a new family forms, we see holiday delight through the eyes of these children as we keep us looking forward to making more memories together.
I made Reese her own special Christmas box to keep memorabilia in it throughout the years. Like Reese, opening her box on Christmas Day, our new life has been open and filled with surprises filling our thoughts to reflect on what really matters.