Yesterday marked the three-year anniversary of our move to the seacoast of New Hampshire. That July 1st, I signed the papers and got the key. On July 2nd, Bob and Rocky arrived after their cross-country trip. And on July 3rd, we drove to our new home to see it before the movers arrived in the middle of the month. We stayed at my sister and brother-in-law’s home before moving in.
This year also marks twenty years since we started our volunteer work to assist women with breast cancer and their families, and to educate ourselves and our community following my first diagnosis. Living on our own terms has taken time. We have had to overcome too many obstacles, expenses, distractions, shock, loss, sorrow and more before getting to where we are now.
The quote that “Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations” is true for us. Through the years we treasure where our travels have taken us. When living in Ventura, we made a point to getaway each Christmas holiday and head to the Central and Northern coasts of California. It gave us something fun to look forward to each year as we were away from our families. In retrospect, I think those trips saved us. It gave us time to really think about the places and people we love.
Being conscious when using the word “love”
When guests would visit our home in Ventura, I noticed that Bob would repeatedly say how much he loved the state of New Hampshire. He shared that he “loved” driving through the winding country roads and looking at all the trees.
An interior decorator once told me that when you use the word “love” in your language, it’s important listen to yourself and go towards those things you love. So in May 2019, the Tuesday after our nephew’s wedding, we drove up to the Seacoast area of New Hampshire. Bob was back in his trance of the green country roads.
What was about to happen was unexpected. To see more of what this area offered, we looked at just one house not expecting to buy anything. Stepping into this home at the end of a short road, we immediately felt we had reached a special place. We sauntered into our dream house that met all our living needs. We identified an opportunity that day, and we took a risk by making an immediate offer. Two days later, our offer was accepted. We could hardly believe what we had just done. After all we’d lived through. Perhaps all of it made us crazy!
Timing and Dreams
Timing sometimes got in the way of our dreams. And sometimes timing had us achieving some of our dreams. Dreams, like Ribbons of Life, far surpassed our dreams.
Having dreams and achieving goals requires effort. Effort that some may not be willing to earn. Some say, “I don’t have a vision or any dreams.” They make excuses to do what they truly love and plod along with few achievements. “I’m too old.” Others say. “I can’t do that.” And some say. “That’s impossible!” Too many make excuses, which can limit their visions and dreams. Others have dream deep inside, but may not want to share it is. Those dreams never become a reality to them. Sometimes too, lazy habits can keep us from doing something that is necessary towards fulfilling a dream. Some do not use or know the many resources–including people whose wisdom will help your dream(s) come true.
Achieving Dreams from Goal Setting
Sure life happens when you’re busy making other plans. There are those sudden and unexpected moments that knock you off track. Like being diagnosed with cancer, which hit us like one big wrecking ball. Or did it?
Dreams cannot be mapped out exactly the way we would like. However, getting quiet and writing down some goals can help with those things you wish to achieve in your lifetime. Realizing your dreams requires perseverance and paying close attention to numerous options that you can choose that will best get you to your goal(s). When you see an opportunity sometimes you’ve got to grab it as it may not happen again. Taking a risk or a chance will make you look back at the skills and wisdom you’ve learned along the way. Bob and I shake our heads wondering how we did all those things. We believe they got us to where we are now. Content. We wanted to live in a place that provided us with peace, solitude, and a good view. Seeing the four seasons from inside our home and then going out to it has been wonderful and meaningful experience for us.
Creatures of Habit vs. Change
While it is said that humans are creatures of habit, moving can cause times of challenge, fear, excitement and celebration. Changes have found us moving forward, sometimes slowly. There were many times when Bob and I felt like we were on one big treadmill getting nowhere. We’ve spoiled spoiled people. We’ve tended to the needs of others during their most difficult times in their life. And we’ve learned how to overcome what some may say were “unimaginable”. Yet, Bob and I will be the first to say that when you hit a wall with something unimaginable, then the imaginable can appear. It’s is up to you. The power of possibility IS possible.
Capturing our dreams required us to change some of our habits, our living environment, embracing new and old cultures, adapting to colder weather, and finding new doctors. Yet noticing the opportunities far outweighed what we would gain by making a change for the better. We can say, I see it. We can do this! Let’s start. These statements helped us move closer to the dream of living life on our own terms.
Dream Book
In her book DREAM: Clarify and Create What You Want, author Marcia Wieder asks the question “How available for life, or love, are you?” She continues by writing that you are either open or closed and that the ability to create and live a meaningful life and achieve your dreams requires that you be available and receptive.
Ribbons of Life’s Create 4 Life Vision Boards
I cannot thank the Ribbons of Life volunteers enough for their encouragement to dream. So many supported our visions while Bob supported mine and I supported his. Looking back, it was a joint effort. After attending many annual January Create 4 Life Vision Board Programs, I recently paused to gaze at all my visions that I cut out from magazines and pasted on each boards. They contain words, pictures, colors, phrases and quotes that are a part of who Bob and I are together and when we are apart. My years of vision board were pointing to where we are now.
Some words on my boards are: peace, simplify, water, adventure, comfort, photography, writing, Walden (as in the pond); and art. Phrases are: Express yourself; re-thinking roads; coziness and comfort; thriving in arts and culture; a place to play; new transformance; play all year; express yourself; break free; and the gift of color. Some quotes are: [We are] a couple that creates comforts of home. Make time for what you love. Add a little richness to your life without spending a fortune. Express yourself. And live your life on your own terms—my favorite.
Bob and I are now living life on our own terms. It’s taken a long time to get here, but we did it. We are spending more time with our families and old friends. And we’ve met new friends. My art has me creating pieces like crazy with some displayed in local art exhibits. I create in absolute silence where time and space do not seem to exist. I’m loving it. And I’m loving that Bob has his own work area, is using his carpentry skills to build a utility room and window boxes for our patio. He “loves” his Man Cave and our drives around the winding roads of New England. I “love” my Zen Den. We can now play all year—another quote on one of my vision boards.
We have weathered so much weather—both environmentally and personally. We have learned to recognize how to live life on our own terms. We wish this for you. We know that you, too, can learn from your difficult roads and that they can lead you to beautiful destinations. So take a deep breath and get on with it!
